How Music Helps Us Cope With Living and Life Events (Part 1)
Music has always been an essential part of life’s milestones — weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, and other joyous occasions. But beyond celebration, music also has powerful healing qualities that help us endure life’s most difficult moments — the loss of loved ones, partners, and friends. It is, after all, a universal language that transcends words and cultures.
Recently, I was listening to a Korean actor and singer, Ahn Yo-seop, who stars in the globally popular Netflix K-pop series Demon Hunters. He performed a soulful and beautiful Korean classic, “Gather My Tears.” Even though I didn’t understand the lyrics, I could feel every emotion through his voice — the sincerity, the pain, the longing. That’s the true power of music and of great singers, regardless of language.
As a performer myself, I’ve experienced this phenomenon firsthand when singing for Japanese and Korean audiences who didn’t speak English, yet felt every emotion I poured into my songs. Here’s the link to Ahn Yo-seop performing “Gather My Tears”: Watch on YouTube
Music as a Mirror of Life: The Songs of My Continuum
When I recorded My Continuum, I chose songs that listeners could connect with during their own life moments — times of sadness, loss, or personal reflection — when they might seek comfort or closure through music.
The first song, “Can’t Get Back the Time,” is an original composition gifted to me by songwriter Lance Jyo. It tells the story of a man later in life reflecting on his experiences, the relationships and people he’s lost, and the passing of youth. Despite the nostalgia and loss, the song carries a message of hope and gratitude — to live whatever time remains with purpose, appreciation, and meaning.
The second track, “The Last Goodbye,” is even more personal. I dedicated it to my late father. Our father-son relationship was complicated — he was a typical Asian dad: strict, stoic, and focused on success, wealth, and status. Those were his dreams, not mine.
The lyrics,
“A lifetime unshared it seems,
But we lived with different dreams.
And the harder I tried,
The words I kept inside,
Once hope, now cast aside,
Regret I could not hide…”
capture that emotional distance and unspoken regret. I know many listeners will relate to that feeling — wanting approval, struggling to express love, or hearing disappointment from those we care about most.
Singing this song was cathartic and healing for me. Later in the lyrics comes the closure and acceptance I needed:
“Now it's time to let you go,
Still there's something you should know.
Though our time has passed by,
There'll always be a part,
Of you inside my heart,
No matter where you are…”
When my father passed away, he was intubated and unable to speak any final words to me or my sisters. That experience taught me a profound life lesson — don’t wait until it’s too late to say what matters. Tell your loved ones how you feel while they’re still here. With time and perspective, I’ve come to realize my father did his best in his own way. He wasn’t perfect, but he tried — and I love and respect him for that.
The Global Language of Emotion
I’m an unabashed BTS fan. What these incredibly talented Korean men have accomplished in global music is nothing short of historic. They shattered long-held stereotypes about Asian artists — proving that talent, emotion, and artistry know no boundaries of race or language.
One of the most powerful moments in their career was at Wembley Stadium in the UK, when the audience sang their finale song back to them — in Korean and English. Watching the BTS members cry on stage as thousands of voices echoed their lyrics is proof of music’s ability to unite hearts across cultures. Watch the Wembley performance
Other Songs That Reflect Closure, Regret, and Resolution
Here are some timeless songs from other artists that also explore these powerful human themes:
1.“Back to December” – Taylor Swift
An apology song about regret and the desire for forgiveness.
2. “Neither One of Us (Wants to Be the First to Say Goodbye)” – Gladys Knight & The Pips
A classic portrayal of mutual denial at the end of love.
3. “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday” – Boyz II Men
A soulful reflection on letting go while cherishing memories.
4. “Sacrifice” – Elton John
A poignant song about the compromises of love and acceptance without bitterness.
5. “Someone Like You” – Adele
A heartfelt reflection on lost love and wishing someone well despite lingering pain.
Part 2 of this blog series will explore how music not only helps us heal but also inspires us to grow, forgive, and move forward.